seoul searching…

we had expected the events of my previous post and the following to be spread out over the next several months, NOT the last couple of weeks. I could sleep for 3 days straight to catch up on my recent lack thereof…*please note, the following post is startlingly transparent (for me) purposefully to encourage/motivate anyone who is also in the adoption process or considering adoption…

wednesday, may 11…

after our referral, reality started to set in as we researched her special need in more depth. our next step was to consult with an international adoption specialist for her professional view on our baby's special needs. I contacted the doctor Tuesday night and she called back the next morning with her medical opinion. she was very thorough and knowledgeable but totally scared me to death with her "what if's" and possible future health problems we might face. my excitement turned to fear and apprehension as my eyes were opened and I researched more about her metabolic disorder. the rest of the day I was in a fog and had no direction whatsoever, so I continued to research online. I came across a website branded "cook for love" (remember this title, it's important later) that was started by two mothers of children with her same condition. this was encouraging but I kept thinking, are WE really up to this challenge (specifically ME, since treatment mostly involves a VERY strict diet - for life) I started imagining my every waking moment being spent in the kitchen measuring and weighing foods, keeping detailed records of her food consumption in addition to regular blood tests and clinical appointments. but basically the only reasons I was coming up with to NOT adopt her were completely selfish and based in fear.

thursday, may 12…

I had another short night of sleep and woke up with no more direction than I had gone to bed with the night before, so I grabbed for the devotional book on my night stand and opened to the page I had book marked previously. the day's devotional was titled "learning to love", I Cor 13 was the text, and the author's first line was "I love to cook…". she proceeded to explain how she finds joy in showing love for her family by cooking for them. hmm. it kind of felt like God had slapped me upside the head with that one and said "yo, get with the program - this is obviously MY gift to you, accept her." it was my "aha moment" and exactly what I needed because I felt totally at peace about adopting her after that. I had been "waiting on a sign" and that was a startlingly clear one. later that morning, I talked to specialists and dietitians in town and our conversations were much more encouraging, definitely not rosy but not terrifying either.

Brad came home for lunch and as we sat there talking about adopting this little girl, I received another email from Holt informing us that her country fee had been reduced. *cue Twilight Zone music* what's this, another sign? I was in shock, from what I understood this fee is sometimes reduced if the child is going to need multiple surgeries etc. after coming home to the States. AND in addition to that, Holt was willing to work with us on the payment terms for the country program fee which is typically due at the time of acceptance. we were really expecting to have at least a few more months to save up, fund raise, etc. and that road block was removed. it is crazy exciting to see how God is working out all of the details for us to be able to adopt our baby girl. it is an amazing journey and I'm so thankful GOD CHOSE US to be her parents and for EVERYTHING he took us through to get to this point! at 1:30, I called our agency and informed them we wanted to adopt her!

friday through tuesday…
a very long weekend

waiting…waiting…waiting…to hear back from our agency about the questionnaire we were required to submit about our baby. monday I was interviewed by our agency who basically wanted to make sure we understood what we were accepting with her metabolic disease (PKU). thankfully I had spent the last week researching LATE into the night and was able to sound intelligent in my responses. (they were looking for something more than just "we love her and want to adopt her!")

wednesday, may 18…

we had our USCIS fingerprinting appointments up in Charlotte and on our way back home, I received an email from Holt. it was the acceptance paperwork that we had been waiting on for the past 9 days! 

monday, may 23…

we were able to finally ship the rather large acceptance paperwork package back to our agency. what a relief…

I'm too excited to sleep these days and we can't WAIT to be able to share her precious, delightfully chubby baby cheeks with you all. (for confidentiality reasons, we are not able to post her photos online at this time. just trust me when I say she is the most adorable baby we've ever laid eyes on!)

*one more thought - the fact that our referral is a GIRL is so unbelievable, she is obviously meant to be our daughter! we were totally expecting and prepared for a BOY because in order to adopt a girl from Korea, families are required to FIRST adopt a BOY. so, wow…God must have some big plans for this baby!